Paper Cities
by the strings
Summary: Three years after they separate, Q receives a haunting letter from Margo, and his own letter may seem pretty familiar...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A letter for Quentin, from Margo, sent three years after she leaves**

**Disclaimer: The ideas, characters and references all belong to John Green. The ****writing**** and main Idea of a the letter is mine.**

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Dear Quentin,

It's Margo, I bEt You remember me. How Could yOu not? I've been told I'm prEtty memorable.

It's been threE years Since we'Ve last spokeN In person, and I really want to Know how your life is going. Is eVerything working out the wAy you expected it to? It isn't for me.

I tried, Q, I reaLLy tried. I got A job at a local conVenience store for a little while. It payed for Food anD all that good stuff. I wrote and I explored, Just like I said I would. But Its nOT what I Expected. I knOw yoU're probAbly getting settled in Your third year of coLLegE, BUt I need to Know: WaS iT worth it?

I Got SUcked back in, Q. I tried but the Paper TownS have pAper traps and IM ensnared. It seems Like TheRE Really is nO escapE. I LiVe in an Apartment nOw and I'm consIDering going to cOlleGE..

I nEEd to know if It was WORth it. Getting a ProPER jOB. Living a proper life.

I can't focus on the equality of capitalization right now.

Are you happy? I want to be happy. I don't want to be a mindless paper person like everyone else, but I do want happiness. I thought I would find it on my own, out there in the world, exploring and leaving my mark. I was wrong. It was a childish fantasy. But we need more "childish" in this world, don't you think? Its what keeps dreams alive. Its what keeps people staring at the sky and contemplating its endlessness. So in the end it wasn't such a bad thing.

You aren't a paper person. You live among them in your paper town, but you are the most real person left on this earth. I honestly wish I was more like you. You do paper things like getting a job and going to college. You probably have a girlfriend and are going to settle down soon. You do all of this, every day, yet you are still real.

You said you wanted to be like me, but its more lonely then you think, floating around above the paper cities. You are everything I want to be, but I also don't want to lose _me_. The me you tried to decipher. The me that I can't explain, but I think you are the only person who understands. That girl is me, and I am living in a paper city, far away from your paper town, wondering if there was something I could have done differently. I never could have stayed there, you know why.

The detective, that was always on my disappearance cases, had a point in saying that I was a balloon. He gave me that stupid speech the second time I came back, but now I get it. I've always pictured the cracks in the ship, like I told you, the pieces that don't fit together. That was why I had to leave. But his metaphor makes sense as well.

Me and all the other balloons seek freedom, that was the one thing he missed. He viewed it as a bunch of balloons that had to come down, but he never considered the fact that everyone is different. Its like I'm in my _own_ sky. A single balloon that wants to come down but can't. You understand that, don't you? I want to come down, but I can't do that without losing my sense of self. I've spent my whole life trying to fly away, above the paper people, and now that I wish I could become one of them, I can't.

Its fake, its all fake, but its better then having nothing.

I feel like a fallen angel in a city of mortals. I feel so different and alone.

I'm unhappy, but somehow thats better then being empty and controlled.

Don't let anyone break your strings, only you can do that.

Don't fly too high, Icarus, or you will crash into the sun and burn like I did.

I'm always burning, but then maybe I can set my paper city on fire.

You are the only real person left,

But your paper town is thousands of miles away from my paper city.

Stay real for me,

Margo Roth Spiegelman


	2. Chapter 2

Q's POV

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I sit down on the bed in my dorm room, my eyes swimming with tears as my eyes scan the paper for the hundredth time. It sounds like she's giving in. The strong, free spirit that I looked up to was breaking under the pressure. Strange how it only took three years in the adult world to crack her and tear her from what she believes in. Tearing her away from herself. I love her, every side of her. I feel like Margo has infinite sides. She reminds me of a six sided dice that you can roll and get a different result each time.

I ache inside, wanting to reply, but what do you say to someone who is giving up?

Its almost like I'm reliving the time I thought she was sending me a suicide message. My heart is pounding to the beat of an Arctic Monkeys song.

What do you say to someone who changed your entire outlook on life? Someone who made you look at the world in a different way and made you realize that of all the times you felt like nothing, you were the most important person to this one girl. What do you say to a girl you love with all your heart when you want them to never give up on what they believe in?

I took out a lined notebook and a pencil. I gave the pencil a final twirl in my fingers before pressing the tip to the paper and leaving marks like the ones Margo left on the world.

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Dear Margo,

How do I explain how much you mean to me? You have changed my life, flipped it inside out and rewritten every page with your messy, coded, writing.

You saw that year, the year that changed my life, through your own tinted glasses. You saw your story unfolding in front of you, but you didn't see mine. You didn't see the tears and laughs and near death experiences and triumphs. You didn't see any of it so you don't know how important you are to me. Every word that fell from your lips opened new gateways for me and I can never thank you enough.

Sure I'm happy, but I'm not you. I want you to be happy, more then I want anything, but I would die before I let you lose yourself. The girl who changed me. The girl I fell for.

How do I explain how that girl has helped me through life, knowing that somewhere out there Margo Roth Spiegelman was doing extraordinary Margo Roth Spiegelman things?

How do I explain how much I need that girl to stay?

I guess you wont know how important you are to me until you see it from my point of view. I need you to stay real just as much as you need me to.

Read the year from my point of view in your apartment, in the city thousands of miles away from my paper town.

There is no other way to begin except to explain what you are to me.

_The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle_...

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A/N: I hope you liked it! Reviews are appreciated!


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